Day 5 - Saturday

We had a slight lie in as we were absolutely shattered from a very long hard week.  Lisa had been expressing milk all week via an electric pump and we were storing this milk in the freezer for when Olivia was able to drink it. The phone rang just before 9am, the number was blocked and we both immediately knew it was the hospital.

Our hearts sank as it was indeed the hospital, but they had called to say that Olivia was off the ventilator which was great news!!  They rang back half an hour later to say could they give her a dummy to stop her from crying, reluctantly we said yes.

When we arrived in the critical care ward it was lovely to see her awake and fairly alert, there was still a large amount of green bile coming from her stomach but that was to be expected.  Within 30 minutes of us getting there the doctors told us that she was ready to move out of critical care to the high dependency unit, we were thrilled and proudly walked behind her incubator to meet our new team and other parents.

It was a good afternoon and Olivia seemed happy, we had our first cuddles which were amazing and was really settled when we held her.  5 days was a long time to go without cuddles but they were brilliant!  We met with Jonny, Kathryn, Imogen and Teddy for lunch and then headed back to the hospital.

Olivia was doing well and Nanny Kath popped in to say hi.  The day ended well and we were over the moon with her progress!  How quickly things can change.....

Day 4

Back to work again for me today and Lisa got a lift in to hospital with our good friend Jonny Layzell who works in Bristol.  Olivia was doing well and the sedation was gradually wearing off but no real movements yet.  Lisa changed her first nappy and there was a little bit of pooh in it which was a great sign as it meant Olivia's bowel was starting to work.

I got a picture message from Lisa with Olivia's little eyes open and my heart melted. Her morphine levels were being reduced as was gradually needing less and less ventilation.  When I arrived after work she was still very groggy but she was slowly coming round.  The doctors were pleased with her progress but slightly concerned with the amount of fluid that they were draining from her stomach via her nose.  This gunk was bright green with lumps and should normally be processed in her bowel and then poohed out but because her intestines were so sore and agitated this was slow going.

Day 3

There was little change to Olivia overnight and I decided that rather than watch the machines with their ever changing numbers and noises I would go in to work and get the car sorted out at the garage which needed doing.

I felt very guilty for leaving Lisa in the hospital on her own but she was happy and kept me updated all day as to what was going on.  Olivia was doing well and was stable, the pain killers and sedation were gradually being reduced but they were reluctant to release their spell.  I arrived after a very long drive in through the rush hour traffic and was rewarded with a few flutters of Olivia's eyelids and a twitches of her tiny fingers. We left hospital feeling like we were all moving in the right direction.

Day 2- Critical Care

Much more to be positive about today.

I woke up at home and then made my way in to hospital to see my two girls.  Lisa was doing really well and had been discharged by our specialist, not bad....no pain relief during birth and then one night in hospital....this giving birth lark is clearly not as difficult as everyone makes out! ;-)

It was great to see Lisa again, it was not a nice feeling spending a night away from her and Olivia after such an emotional day.  She had spoken to the surgeons when they had done their rounds that morning and they were pleased with the way the op went and informed us that it was now a waiting game to see what happened and to hope her stomach and intestines settled down.

We spent a most of the day in and out of the critical care ward, there was very little for us to do but watch her lying perfectly still.  She was still heavily sedated and on a concoction of morphine, dopamine, antibiotics and various other fluids as still no food by mouth.

Visitors were still strictly limited to parents and grandparents so my Dad came in to see his little grand daughter and was very pleased but also sad to see her with so many wires, tubes and machines connected to her.

There was a very sad moment in the afternoon where a family of a baby a couple of incubators along from Olivia had a christening as he was not expected to make it through the rest of the day.  They were allowed to break the visiting rules so his family could be with him for the first and last time.

Everyday is like a mini soap opera with births, new families, deaths and dramas, mostly very sad times.

A very difficult morning- Day 1

We were both shattered after a very long night but were anxious to see our little girl before she went in to surgery and wanted to meet the team that would be operating on her.  A midwife took us down to the NICU and we were introduced to the lead surgeon.  He was fairly pessimistic at this point after seeing Olivia a few minutes before.  It became apparent that it wasn't just her intestines that were outside her body but also her stomach.  The hole that the intestine and the stomach were protruding from was quite small and the blood flow had been restricted to Olivia's intestines meaning that they were not in as good condition as had been hoped for. There was a strong possibilty that they might have to be put in a bag outside her body to begin with and fed back in over the next week.  The surgeon told us that they would find out more in theatre and would do their best but couldn't promise anything.  We were handed a consent form for the operation and told to agree and sign various sections and then he was gone.

We were devastated at the apparent bad news and sat there in shock for a few minutes before finding the strength to go up to the ward where Lisa would recover from giving birth.  Luckily we had been put in a side room so we would not be disturbed by other mothers who were lucky enough to have their babies with them.

The next few hours seemed to last an eternity, we clocked watched for a couple of hours and hadn't heard anything from NICU.  Eventually we were told that Olivia was out of surgery and they were making her comfortable, we would be allowed to see her when they had connected all the various tubes wires and machines that would help aid her recovery.

We were shown in to the critical care unit and to the incubator and machines that were keeping a beautiful little girl alive.  As we peered in and saw her lying there so helpless, it was very emotional, she looked so fragile and was clearly in a fair amount of pain.  The medication levels were still getting adjusted and she was trying to cry but the ventilator in her mouth and tube up her nose were preventing any sound from coming out but tiny tears were streaming down her face and her body convulsed with each breath.

There was however some good news, the surgeons had managed to get her stomach and intestines back in to her abdomen so she didn’t have her intestines in a bag hanging from the roof of the incubator.  We couldn’t speak to the surgeons straight away as they had gone back in to surgery.  It wouldn’t be until the next morning that we would get the full picture.  The nurses reassured us that all seemed well although it was a tight fit to get everything back inside her but remained hopeful.

We left the Olivia with the nurses and doctors on NICU and went to try and get some rest up on the ward and talk to anxious friends and family.  My Mum came in to see Olivia in the afternoon and was very excited to see her first grand daughter!.

The rest of the day was spent with visits down to see Olivia and trying to keep awake as we’d both not had any real sleep for nearly 36 hours.

The Birth

When I got back to the delivery room Lisa was in full blown labour and the contractions were getting closer together and a lot more intense.  Kath was doing a great job of helping Lisa with her breathing and reassuring her that she was doing amazingly.

Lisa was most comfortable when she was standing during labour so when a contraction started I would help Kath hold her up so that she could relax and breath.The rest of the labour was very quick, the midwives and paediatricians got all the kit they would need for our little ones arrival and were brilliant throughout.

Lisa was truly amazing and I was so proud, she didn't scream or shout and didn't ask for any pain relief-not even gas and air!!

Lisa's waters broke and within minutes Olivia Grace Earp was with us, she was screaming as I cut the cord and announced that we had a little girl.  We were thrilled to bits but also very aware of the huge amount of intestine that outside her tiny body.  She weighed in at 5lb 5oz and the time of birth was 3.38am on January 18th 2011.

The name was decided upon for a couple of reasons; part of our honeymoon was on the Greek island of Evia, we were lucky enough to stay at my Uncle Richards beautiful home that he named Olive's Grove after my Grandmother Olive.  We were 95% certain that Lisa fell pregnant whilst we were there so it seemed fitting to call her Olivia, plus it is a lovely name!

We had a couple of minutes to get a picture or two before she was put in to an incubator and rushed off to critical care to be prepped for surgery.  It was hard to accept that she was gone but we knew what had to happen and that she was in the best hands.

The early arrival....It's on!!

Sunday 16th of January and it was a week to go before the big day.  Lisa had been busily nesting like a women possessed and I had been carrying out lots of manly tasks like mending the car, putting the odd curtain rail up and buying a tumble dryer ready for the never ending supply of baby clothes.

Monday the 17th of January started the same as any Monday with me going to work and Lisa also working.  She had booked holiday from the start on January but had agreed to help out for a couple of days before she was due to give birth, partly to help Halifax with a new Lloyd's computer system and to maximise her maternity leave. I called Lisa as I was leaving the office, she sounded slightly more anxious than usual about how long it would take me to get home but I thought nothing more of it.

As I walked through the door I was greeted by Lisa with her coat on and overnight bag in hand.  I dropped the empty recycling container that I had picked up from outside the front door as she said the words "We need to go to hospital!" It was on!!

Auto pilot took over, I grabbed a couple of things in case it turned in to a long night/day but still managed to find time for a quick shave and iron a fresh shirt as I didn’t want to disappoint all those nurses and midwives ;-)!

Lisa had called her mum who turned up just as I’d finished pressing my collar and we were off to Bristol.  Originally we were due to have the baby at Paulton or Bath, we rang Paulton to see if we could nip in there on our way to Bristol for them to confirm if Lisa was in labour or if it was just a false alarm.  They gave us a flat no because if Lisa was in labour then they would have had to put her in to an ambulance that would then have taken her to Bath where the baby would have been delivered and then transferred to St Michael's! We decided to drive straight to Bristol.

The care at St Michael's was brilliant and we were shown to a delivery room (minus the TV, this was Bristol after all!) The midwife hooked Lisa up to a machine so they could monitor the baby’s heart rate and Lisa’s contractions.  All seemed well but Lisa was in the very early stages of labour and we were told to prepare ourselves for a long wait.  After an hour Lisa’s mum (Kath) and I had eaten most of the chocolate and sandwiches that we had packed for Lisa and I had pressed all the various buttons....so I was told to get a couple of hours sleep at our friends Tim and Laura's just up the road in Clifton.

I didn’t want to leave but decided that I would be better support for Lisa if I was awake.  I'd just dropped off when my phone rang, I answered it on the second ring, it was Kath.  Lisa had gone in to full blown labour and I needed to get back to the hospital ASAP!

Heads up or down...

Just before a bit of info around the birth,  I thought I should mention that with about 6 weeks to go before the Lisa was due we were told that the baby was breach or head up so Lisa would be given a Cesarean.  Up to this point we had been told that a natural birth would be best for the baby and would also mean that Lisa would be able to drive in and out of hospital on her own if she needed to.  So it was slightly concerning that she would be having a c section unless the baby turned, which was highly unlikely due to the fact that the amniotic fluid surrounding the baby was low (typical of Gastro pregnancies) so would make it hard for it to move round.

Another feature of Gastro pregnancies is that the doctors do not let them run the full nine months as the amniotic fluid begins to attack the intestines so Lisa was due to be induced at 37 weeks on the 24th of January 2011.

The Final Few Weeks

In the weeks running up to our due date of Febuary 12th we had a tour of St Michaels neonatal intensive care baby unit or NICU. St Michael's is not a new hospital but does have a great reputation in recent years as an excellent children's hospital. We met some of the team that would be delivering our baby, operating on it and then providing the care in those all important first few weeks.

There are 3 departments of the NICU that babies can go through, the most poorly start in section 1 (critical care) and as they begin to recover they move up to 2 (high dependency) then 3 (close observation) before they can home or go on to a normal children's ward.  Our baby would need to pass through all three and we opted to be shown the critical care room first.  Our guide told us that it would be a shock and she wasn't wrong.

First of all we had to take our wedding rings and watches off, roll our sleeves up and thoroughly wash our hands in a very particular way to stop the spread of any disease.  The critical care room is not very big at all, it can accommodate 8 or 9 incubators at any one time and all the kit that comes with them.  I looked around and at first it wasn't clear if there were any babies in the room at all.  My previous experience of tiny babies was that they made an incredible amount of noise and thrashed around a lot.  The only noise to be heard was that of the machines gentle humming and beeping punctuated by the odd alarm as one of the babies stopped breathing periodically or needed more medication.

As I came round to the idea that these machines with wires and tubes were connected to babies in the incubators keeping them alive I realised just how poorly they must be.  No amount of watching Casualty or Holby City can prepare you for the sight of these desperately ill tiny babies.  They do not move, they do not cry for their mummies they just lie there heavily sedated in a drug induced haze.  Anxious parents were gazing in to the incubators wishing praying and hoping that when their baby is brought round it will be able to begin to support itself and leave the machines for the next unfortunate family.

We were both reeling from the critical care room when we walked in to the high dependency room.  Far fewer machines greated and the babies were visible but the the impact for me was the look on the parents faces as they turned to look at us, no smiles or hellos just worry with a slight look of pity as they remembered their tour of the unit days, weeks or months previously.

The third room was much more positive, the babies seemed to be getting to the stage where they could fend for themselves and cry and have cuddles with their mums and dads.  I'd had enough by this stage and was very glad to leave but realising that it would be us in there before long.

Gastro What?!

The rescan confirmed our worst fears that our baby did indeed have a problem with its stomach called Gastroschisis. 

“Gastroschisis is a condition where your baby develops a defect (hole) in the abdominal wall during development, while still inside your womb. This is usually to the right side of the umbilical cord and some of the bowel escapes through this hole and continues to develop outside your baby’s abdomen. This happens in approximately 1:7000 births. There is an increased chance that your baby will be born premature and small. The number of cases of babies born with Gastroschisis has increased dramatically in the Western world over the past decade. The cause of this is not known”.

Those few moments during the scan and when we spoke to the midwife afterwards were some of the hardest of my life.  You feel powerless, angry, confused and wanted to know why this had happened and what could be done about it. 

We were told that it wouldn't have any real affects on the pregnancy itself but would would mean serious short term problems for the baby. Straight after birth the baby would would be taken to the intensive care unit where it would be assessed and prepared for surgery within a couple of hours.  The surgeons would either be able to put the bowel back in to the stomach and close the wound or if there was not enough space in the stomach cavity the intestines would be placed in a bag or silo outside the body and gradually fed back in to the stomach over the period of around a week.  We were told that the average hospital stay for a baby with this condition was around 4-6 weeks but this could vary massively.

We took all this on board and were refered to our local specialist hospital that was St Michaels in Bristol.  In some respects this was a blessing in disguise because there are only a handful of hospitals in the country that can deal with Gastroschisis.  If we lived in Cornwall we would still have had to go to Bristol to have our baby.

The specialist was excellent and was very reassuring but we still had some very difficult decisions to make.  I couldnt bear the thought of bringing a baby in to this world that would suffer so much pain and suffering during its first few weeks and months of life.


After much soul searching and advice we decided that would would continue with the pregnancy and try to enjoy the pregnancy as much as possible.  The first couple of months were very difficult for both of us but especially Lisa as she was suffering from terrible morning sickness.  I'm still unsure as to why it is called morning sickness when poor Lisa was still throwing up well in the evenings.  Lisa to her credit was amazing, she rarely complained and still went to work every day.  One of the most challenging days was at Alessandra and David's wedding when she was feeling so ill but was not 12 weeks gone so we had to make excuses for her not drinking and running to the toilet every half hour!

The rest of the pregnancy went well albeit with lots more scans than normal to check how the baby was developing and lots of trips to Bath RUH and St Michael's in Bristol.
 

The 12 Week Scan

Every pregnant couple must visit their first foetal development scan with a huge amount of excitement and a slight degree of nervousness.  You sit in the waiting room with a thousand thoughts running through your mind but one in particular kept jumping out for me at least...I just want the sonographer to say that our baby was normal and healthy.

I'm sure many of you have experienced the anxious waiting room moments before the scan or perhaps hours if you received treatment at the RUH in Bath!  You try and give a reassuring glance to your wife or partner whilst holding their hand, balancing the anticipation of seeing your little miracle of life for the first time coupled with the "What ifs?".

I was in total awe for the first few minutes of the scan, looking in at something so precious and beautiful, the excitement and adrenaline streamed though every inch of my body.  In those few moments it seemed that my whole perspective on life was changing....it dawned on me that I was going to be Dad and all that it would entail!

Within seconds I was brought down to earth with a huge crash, it felt like somebody had squeezed the life out of me and wouldn't let go. There was a problem with our baby.

The sonographer tried her best to be gentle with us and not upset us but we were both looking very shocked.  She couldn't be sure but she thought that the baby's stomach was showing an unusual outline on the scan and we would need to come back in a weeks time to see if it had corrected itself.

We were devastated that evening and for a good few days afterwards, nobody could really tell us what was wrong and it was a waiting game.  As the rescan date approached I tried to stay as positive as possible but couldn't shut out a nagging thought that everything wouldn't be alright.  Our close family and friends were amazing at giving us support through that week and boy would we need it.